I know.......NEVER SAY NEVER!!!

I can safely say.......NEVER in my life have I felt like such a FAILURE!!!  I feel I have failed my Mom miserably......she deserves so much more than she is getting!  

I have sat back and waited for situations to improve(change)trying to avoid conflict for way too long........and now it's too late!  

She probably already hates us, and she doesn't even know what's coming?  

It seems there's no way to help her understand......I wish there was, so instead we will trick her, lie to her!  Do you know how hard it is to lie to someone that simply does not deserve it?  For me it's a killer!!!  

Nothing seems right, I have totally lost my reasoning........don't know what's right and wrong anymore?  

I feel so trapped in all of this......how must she feel?